Make your own free website on
Science funnies
Subject: Science
The beguiling ideas about science quoted here were gleaned from essays, exams, and class room discussions; most were from fifth- and sixth-graders. They illustrate Mark Twain's contention that the "most interesting information comes from children, for they tell all they know and then stop."

One horsepower is the amount of energy it takes to drag a horse 500 feet in one second.
You can listen to thunder after lightning and tell how close you came to getting hit. If you don't hear it you got hit, so never mind.
When they broke open molecules, they found they were only stuffed with atoms. But when they broke open atoms, they found them stuffed with explosions.
When people run around and around in circles we say they are crazy. When planets do it we say they are orbiting.
Most books now say our sun is a star. But it still knows how to change back into a sun in the daytime.
Many dead animals of the past changed to fossils, others preferred to be oil.
Vacuums are nothings. We only mention them to let them know we know they're there.
Some people can tell what time it is by looking at the sun. But I have never been able to make out the numbers.
We say the cause of perfume disappearing is evaporation. Evaporation gets blamed for a lot of things people forget to put the top on.
I am not sure how clouds get formed. But the clouds know how to do it, and that is the important thing.
Cyanide is so poisonous that one drop of it on a dog's tongue will kill the strongest man.
Thunder is a rich source of loudness.
Isotherms and isobars are even more important than their names sound.
It is so hot in some parts of the world that the people there have to live other places.

* Our new teacher told us all about fossils. Before she came to our class, I didn't know what a fossil looked like.
* We get our temperature in three different ways. Either fasirinheit, cellcius, or centipede.
* Sex is not having two people going to bed to get rid of their frustration. It's what you get out of it. Sex can bring about trust and caring deeply for one another, which can create an endurable relationship.
* Pavlov studied the salvation of dogs.
* My aunt won't be having any more kids because her tubes are tired.
* A molecule is so small that it can't be seen by the naked observer.
* In biology today, we digested a frog.
* To prevent head colds, use an agonizer to spray into you nose until it drops down into you throat.

The human body is composed of three parts: the Brainium, the Borax and the Abominable Cavity. The Branium contains the brain. The Borax contains the lungs, the liver, and the living things. The Abominable Cavity contains the bowels, of which there are five: A, E, I, O, and U.

The bird I am going to write about is the Owl. The owl cannot see at all in the day and is blind as a bat at night. I do not know much about the owl so I will go on to the Beast which I am going to choose. It is the Cow. The Cow is a mammal and it is tame. It has six sides: right, left, fore, back, upper, and below. At the back it has a tail in which is hanging a bush. With this it sends the flies away so they do not fall in the milk.
The head is for the purpose of growing horns and so the mouth can be somewhere. They are to butt with. The mouth is to moo with. Under the cow hangs the milk. It is arranged for milking. When the people milk the cow the milk comes and there is never any end to the supply. How the cow does it I have not learned, but it makes more and more.
The man cow is called the ox. It is not a mammal. The cow does not eat much but what it eats twice it eats twice, so it gets enough. When it is hungry it moos and when it doesn't say anything it is because its insides is full of grass.
The cow has a fine sense of smell and you can smell it far away. That is the reason for the fresh air in the country.

Thank you very much, Eunice for this interesting er...article on science.!

Back to Geoff's Homepage!!